Well, imagine my disgust when I heard that “bad-boy illusionist” Criss Angel was teaming up with Cirque du Soleil on a $100 million dollar Las Vegas extravaganza. Seriouly, that’s how they describe him in the press — bad-boy illusionist. Fail.

“Criss Angel: Believe” is the name of his Cirque du Soleil show. Ick, I’m nauseated already. Here is the plot of this mess:

Criss Angel stars as a surreal, enigmatic Victorian Noble. Along a path of imaginative exploration, he encounters Kayala and Crimson, two women who represent different aspects of femininity, four bizarre Ushers, who will introduce the audience to the baroque theater of Criss’s mind and a high-energy troupe of characters and dancers who mix a multitude of styles into a high-energy visual feast, punctuated by moments of grace and sensuality.

I’m not kidding when I say that my idea of Hell is being subjected to Criss Angel and David Blaine specials. They are the most self-indulgent bores on the planet. The fact that emo kids and lonely, middle-aged goth chicks eat this stuff up annoys me even more. I could go on, but I don’t need to. The reviews are in and the show officially sucks.

Doug Elfman from Las Vegas Review writes:

Cirque throws everything in its considerable arsenal of stage genius at Angel — the expected array of lush, loud music, expert dancers and aerialists, lavish settings and boundary-breaking special effects, all intended to amaze.

… I interviewed more than a dozen people after Friday’s and Saturday’s shows, and I listened to groups chat after they exited the theater. They weren’t just disappointed. Some were enraged.

Ouch! Apparently, these sentiments are unanimous with all critics. If you are planning on catching the show, the only good aspect is the cheap tickets. Otherwise, I recommend you see any Cirque du Soleil show that doesn’t involve an “enigmatic Victorian noble.”